Sunday, April 11, 2010

Fighting With MS Connection Magazine - Again

It's not that I want to fight with it, I just do. Admittedly, part of me actually enjoys the person v. periodical debate it creates within my overactive, hole bearing brain. The other part of me wonders why I bother.

Article topic = "ways to conserve your energy". The top 2:

1. Establish realistic expectations - be realistic about your energy levels and frank with yourself and your family about what you can accomplish. A variety of emotions can drain your energy reserve, as well as physical exertion.

2. Plan and pace yourself - pace your activities and work at a moderate rate. Rushing to finish tasks or trying to fit everything in before you collapse takes a toll on the body and emotions.

Summary: "Think of energy as money. Every stress event and each body movement is a withdrawal from your energy account."

MS Connection...pardon me, but you're a little out of touch with my life. And let me tell you why. I hold 3 jobs within my organization. Two of those are full-time jobs in and of themselves within other organizations. Realistic expectations? My only expectation is that I serve to the very best of my God given ability, give my best effort every second, and don't fall asleep at any point in my 10 hour day. The first 2 are easy. The third? Not so much.

Plan and pace myself? Sounds like a luxury I don't have. But is that to my advantage, I wonder? Hmmmm...hold on, need a sip of coffee to ponder that one...

I've often heard the term "move it or lose it". Yeah, mostly in a road rage context, or maybe at a gym. I see your road rage/gym mantra and raise own circumstances.

My neurologist told me, "you have to admit to yourself that...your days of multi-tasking are over". That went over like a hot air balloon. More specifically, one that erupted in flames moments earlier. My immediate response? Laughter. Cackling laughter, because come on - that's just funny!

She always felt that I was a little out of touch with my acceptance of this disease. She's a great lady and fantastic doctor, don't get me wrong. But seriously, what does she want me to do? Curl up in fetal position and play the "What If Game"? I've done that, it's overrated. Cry? I think we've already established...there's NO crying in MS. It doesn't deserve my tears or anyone else's. Stare in the mirror, looking deeply into my own hazels, imagining that just a few inches past those pupils lies "areas of signal"? Done that too. I've decided it's best not to do that, kind of like how it's best not to look at myself for too long in a full length mirror.

Stop multi-tasking? Woman please! I multi-task even if I'm just laying out in the sun! I'm reading a magazine, listening to music, and contemplating the meaning of life all while taking in my vitamin D. I multi-task while showering. Lather up the hair with shampoo and, while that's setting in nicely, I'm shaving my legs. Blow dry my hair while sitting on my favorite seat in the house, awaiting my bladder's decision to fully empty. I could do a Tick Tock remix for Ke$ha. "Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like goin' back to sleep. Drag myself out of bed and shuffle to the coffee maker. Brush my teeth with a tube o' Col Col (that's Colgate, Ke$ha style). I'm talkin' shampoo in my hair hair, shavin' cream on my shins shins, sittin' down on my throne throne, best seat in the home home..." I smell a chart topper!

I've never held a job that was a one-person job. And if I subscribed to the idea of pacing myself and being frank about my energy levels...I wouldn't be working. I'd be sleeping. A lot. Because that's what I want to do. A lot.

On nearly a daily basis, I have to recite some sort of motivational speech to drag myself out of bed. Usually the one that works is, "get up, this is the day the Lord made, and if He woke you up and gave you full mobility, you better get to steppin'". If that doesn't work, the emergency phrase is, "there are kids counting on you...yours and about 100 others! Move it or lose it!"

Move it or lose it. I have to keep moving it, because the thought of losing it is...well...not a thought I can allow for too long. 'Cause that can make me lose it in a whole 'nuther way. And if I'm busy losing it, I'm not being "joyful always" or "giving thanks in all circumstances". Man, that's hard sometimes...

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (New International Version)

16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

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