Saturday, August 10, 2013
I'm really fighting with this:
Because I'm sitting here, comfortably nestled in my desk chair, fuzzy cat next to me, watching dust bunnies frolic under the gentle breezes of...the ceiling fan.
"Let whatever you do today be enough"
To say my house could use a good cleaning is like saying the inside of a 50yr old chimney could use a little dusting. It's an understatement of ridiculous proportions. And the lawn? That's standing slightly above my ankles.
"Let whatever you do today be enough?"
I don't know what constitutes 'enough'. I find myself searching for the things I've done today to see if they measure up to some magic line. I mean, I did get out of bed. I dragged a brush through my hair and across my teeth - different brushes. I went to work for a few hours and got a bunch o' stuff done. I even put food in the microwave and called it 'lunch'. Because lately...lunch is a victory. I often don't feel like stopping whatever it is I'm doing at work to dislodge myself from my chair, go to the mini fridge, remove it, unwrap it, and eat it. See how many steps that requires? On weekends, it's worse. I don't feel like stopping the nothing that I'm doing to even prepare it. I'm so over it. Lunch, that is.
"Let whatever you do today be enough???"
You are not helping, little phrase that keeps replaying in my mind. My husband, that guy who works 6 days a week (and has for the past 14 years), will be home in 3 hours. Yet, here I sit...observing moving conglomerations of animal hair in their natural habitat - as if I'm writing a piece for Nat'l Geographic. Mind you, the husband won't even notice the house or the grass. I think he's so blinded by my fabulousity that...no, let me be real...he's just too exhausted to notice by Saturday evening. And my kids? They do so much already. While their friends are enjoying fun things...my kids are doing dishes, helping with laundry, taking care of our pets, and writing grocery lists that I consistently forget to take with me. I'm seriously glad that they're too old to write those "What I Did This Summer" reports in school...
Hmpf. Certainly looks like a gorgeous day out there. So why is it that all I wanna do is carry this cat up to my bedroom, plop him on the corner of my pillow, lay down, and read my bible?
Maybe because that's 'enough'. For today, anyway.