I came across a blog post that I really loved and identified with. It's called, "Waking Up Full of Awesome".
A snippet goes like this (and I'll link it for you so you can read it in its entirety):
"There was a time when you were five years old, and you woke up full of awesome.
You knew you were awesome.
You loved yourself.
You thought you were beautiful, even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.
You loved your body, and the things it could do.
You thought you were strong.
You knew you were smart.
Do you still have it?
Did someone take it from you?
Did you let them?
Did you hand it over, because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough?
Why...would you listen to them?"
I'm trying to think back to when I was 5. That was what...1977? Kindergarten. Interesting clothing. Good tunes. Did I feel awesome? I stare at a picture of myself and realize that, by the look of my confident smile, of course I did. I had a white denim leisure suit that my parents spent far too much of their far too little money on. How could I not be awesome in that? I knew I was beautiful, because my grandmother always called me "pretty face". I knew I was smart, because my Dad had me reading at 4. I loved myself, because my Mom showered me in love and adoration. I suppose I was pretty awesome:-)
Did someone take that feeling from me? Yeah.
Did I allow "someones" to take it at certain intervals of my life? Mm hmm.
Was I was told I wasn't pretty enough? Thin enough? "Enough", in general? Yes. Literally.
I can recall more than a few times in which I handed my awesome over to undeserving people and situations. Why? Because I listened.
That was then. Now that I'm older, I don't 'listen' so well. Hey, if my grandmother can play that "can't tell me nuthin', I'm old!" card, so can I. It's gotten her this far in life;-) In this case, not listening is a blessing...because ms has certainly tried to take my awesome.
I have a full understanding of what ms can take from me, but I must remain focused on what it cannot. My faith, my ability to love, and my nearest and dearest relationships are off limits. Not to say that each of those hasn't been tested, because they most certainly have. But by His grace, strength, and mercy...they're mine for the keeping.
As for my awesome? Puh-leeeze. MS could never take that unless I hand it over. Ain't happenin'. Don't you hand it over either, because let's face it...we are awesome:-)
(that link I promised)