Saturday, March 5, 2011

Jelly or Jam?

My husband has had it with me and my grocery store faux pas.  For the umpteenth week...I have purchased grape jam. 

:::collective screams of horror:::

Husband, with wrinkled up mustache, staring at jar in disgust:  "I will say it again.  I only like jelly."
Me:  "'s all the same!  Can't you just eat it?"
Husband, with severely askew mustache:  "yeeeeeeesssssss...but I only like JELLY on my SANDWICHES!"
Me:  "but you're eating toast right now.  I mean seriously, I can't be expected to pay that much attention to it. (Husband interrupting me by pointing to how the label has "JAM" highlighted in yellow)...I grab what I grab. (me, extending arm straight out, pinching fingers together)...I don't reach up, I don't reach down, you get what you get."
Husband:  "no, I only want JELLY"
Me:  "okay, now you're being a Diva"

:::look of shock from 6' tall, 265lb truck driver husband with thick goatee and mustache, bear paw hands, and shaved head:::

"I'm a what?"

"oooooooh I think you heard me..."

It wasn't that it was on sale, or that it's my personal choice of smearable fruit, or that I have a deeply rooted loyalty to jam.  It's simply that...those items are in the final aisle of the grocery store.  By the time I get there?  MS is having a play date.  I'm exhausted, using my cart as a walking aide, sometimes swaying, and usually seeing double.  I buy what I can stick my arm straight out and grab.  And obviously?  That's jam.

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