Friday, November 26, 2010

Thankfulness...For Trials?

So there was a challenge put out there...can I say I am thankful for the past trials in my life? 

Pfffffffffffffffft!  Oh that's a good one!  :::holding stomach from laughter:::  Oh wait, they're actually serious?  Hmm.  "Trials, traumas, and tragedies".  I can think of a few right off the top of my head.  I never imagined taking a moment to be thankful for them, however.  Because I could never be thankful for those past events in and of themselves.  Yeah, yeah...I know...they want me to find the blessings that came from them.  The "lemonade".  The "half full".  I suppose it's a legit exercise in counting blessings. Guess I'll play.

Well, I suppose if it weren't for traumas/near traumas, I wouldn't have the keen intuition (that occasionally crosses over into neurosis) to protect my kids from certain situations.  I wouldn't have taken special care to learn how to defend myself.  Forget holding my keys a certain way or trying to spray someone with a highly concentrated food seasoning...I will have hit an attacker 6 ways to Sunday before he could think about my keys or whether he'd like a little salt with his pepper.  As for the tragedy?  I'd have to say it gave a portion of our family (Mommom, Mom, and myself) an extra serving of perseverance.  There sure are times we wish that 4th member of our mighty female crew were here with us.  Although, the way she was?  We might have been kicked out of more than a few of the hospitals and skilled nursing facilities Mommom's been in if she were here and helping navigate care.  I'm pretty sure certain language is prohibited when speaking with medical professionals.  It would've been fun to watch, though... 
 
Past trials?  Much easier to see the blessings from those.  I couldn't appreciate my husband for the man he is had I not been through the fire in the past.  I couldn't appreciate my life had it not changed direction in a 180 degree fashion.  I went from working 7 days a week in my own business, chasing medical insurance monies...to working with kids with learning differences.  I don't use "disability" to refer to my students.  Because those kids?  Are the most brilliant kids I've ever had the blessing to interact with.  Some can perform mental math equal in speed to a calculator.  Some can draw pictures that look like prized art.  Others have submitted storyboards to cartoon producers.  I'm constantly in awe that God would use me in this way.  If I've told them once, I've told them a thousand times.  When they grow up and take over the world, don't forget me:-)
 
Yes, ms...it's your turn.  You can stop raising your hand and yelling out, "ooooh ooooh ooooh!"  Best for last.  (spew.)
 
I'm  :::shaking with annoyance:::  thankful for ms, because  :::deeper and more peaceful state of mind:::  it has kept me close to God.  'Cause I know me.  I've known me a long time, now.  And what I know is, I would barrel through and do things on my own, making a lot of messes in the process.  I know this, because of  (drums rolling) self-inflicted past trials!  Hey how 'bout that!  It's like a Seinfeld episode, all tying back to the main theme!  I suppose this really is a good exercise...
 
If I didn't have ms, I wouldn't be able to appreciate the little things that aren't so little.  Eyesight, even when it's not perfect.  Mobility, even when it's not graceful.  Hearing, even when it's not 100%.  Cognition, even when it's running on 4 cylinders of 12.  Yes, I'm a v12:-)  I wouldn't be able to talk with others who are either newly diagnosed, or in the process of testing, and give them comfort.
 
Where's my comfort?  That's easy.  It's my faith.  Well, I wouldn't say it's "easy", because there are times I want others to comfort me.  But that's a tall order to place on my husband or my friends, though they do often bless me with thoughtful acts of kindness.  When my emotions are bungee jumping and my body's failing me, there's only One Who can handle me.  Yep.  God. 
 
Some people might have "Allstate".  I've got God.  I'm in the best of hands.  That's what I'm most thankful for.  Since the trials have shown me that, I suppose I can give thanks for them afterall:-)

No comments:

Followers