Thursday, October 1, 2009

Caution: Contains God Stuff

My church is hosting a ladies' retreat at a local campground this weekend. I guess I'd sum it up as high school slumber party (minus drama) meets campground worship. So tonight, a group of us were hard at work, preparing, decorating, yada yada. I walked out of the building and immediately noticed how beautiful the moon was. The clouds were amazing, all lit up by said moon. And all you could hear besides the sound of crickets was...nuthin'. It was simply awesome.

I stood there staring at the moon, breathing in the air, and everything else went away! All the stress and worry of the past couple of weeks? Forgot about 'em. I didn't feel pain, unsteadiness, or discomfort. The peace I felt was so overwhelming that I struggled to keep it together. I felt like THAT would be the thing that pushed me off the ledge into Cryfest 2009! But I looked back up into the sky, just before I lost it, and the urge to cry took a vacation. I stood in awe of God's love for me. I've been praying for peace and it was delivered...tonight.

Again, me with a song...but this time, not Janet Jackson. A song verse came to mind, which could've served as my personal theme music tonight. It goes "all of the sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me". The peace of the night, which I saw as His glory, had eclipsed my "afflictions". And I nearly fell face down in awe of His "affection". Then I thought, what if someone sees me fall? Eh, they'll just chalk it up to ms. I so could've gotten away with it!

But seriously, when I'm made to see just how small I am in the grand scheme of things and how He is everything, it'll occasionally weaken my legs. I'm one of the most undeserving people of His grace, yet it's always there. Regardless of whether or not I actively seek Him or only remember to pray hardest when the going gets rough, the grace is there. I guess that's the whole point, right? I fall short. I can't earn it. The only thing we're on is His grace, which is always sufficient. It's just the neatest thing ever. The peace that God grants me really does eclipse everything from health concerns to drama du jour. I knew today would be a better day, but I underestimated just how great it would be!

Here's a link to the song, in case you want to blast it. Watch your computer speakers, though. I can't be responsible for that. Ha!

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