Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I've Hit The Wall

Not literally, though I don't rule that out on a day like this.

I started my part-time job about 10 days ago.  I enjoy the work.  It suits my lack of focus, because every call is something different.  I truly love the owner, the people, and the office, itself.  So what's the problem, right?

Problem is, I continue to become more tired and scatterbrained as I go.  I don't have a set shift yet, so I do a few hours of training and am told to come back the next day for another few hours.  Last night, I left my house for work at 7:15am...and didn't get home until 9pm.  I'm supposed to do the same tonight.  The sheer thought is making me sleepy.  Verrrry sleeeeeepy.  I've had enough caffeine to send me into convulsions.  It ain't workin'.  I'm replaying every motivational speech I've ever heard over in my mind.  Again, ain't workin'.  All that's stuck in my head is a visual of Susan Powter, screaming at me to stop the insanity.  I thought of my husband, who has plowed snow on the turnpike before, working upwards of 36hrs straight with nothing more than a few minutes of sleep in between.  Nope, that ain't workin' either.  Poor husband.  Right about now, he'd welcome a 36hr shift.  As he said this morning, "how can I have 3 jobs and none of them are busy?"  I'd like to look at it as the Lord's way of giving that man a break.  Conversely, I'm wondering what His message is to me...

Tingling skin, extreme sensitivity to noises (do people REALLY have to sharpen an entire box of pencils within 10 yards of me?), vertigo, and eye flies the size of horseflies in my left eye.  Not just any horsefly.  The kind that lands on you, opens its monster mouth, and chomps on you.  THAT size horsefly.  Can I tell you how hard it is to read a computer screen with eye horseflies?  Just another super cool ms thing, I suppose.  Super cool like a hang nail...

Hmm.  I just logged into ebanking and saw our balance.  Well, maybe that one will light the fire.

...nope.  Still ain't workin'.

Lord, I praise You in this storm.  And not just the current tingling, sound sensitive, spinny storm.  I mean the financial one.  The health one.  Every single 'one'.  I know Your hand upholds me.  It's the only thing keeping me going, because without it, I'd have face planted by now ;-)

Be well, fellow ms'ers!  Look out for those walls - both literal and that kind that I just hit!  Watch out for those eye horseflies...

Seriously?  This is in my eye?  Thanks, ms!  'Preciate it!

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