Sunday, August 15, 2010

The True Meaning of The Song "Automatic"

My old friend, Insomnia, and I are up late again.  Oh what to do, what to do?  Make a cup of Constant Comment tea, hop on facebook, and listen to some good ol' fashioned 80's dance music! 

I was never a fan of "freestyle", which is what most of the 80's dance music was comprised of.  It gave me palpitations.  But just as I was ready to switch stations, I heard the familiar beat of the synsonic drums.  I can name that tune in 2 thuds, Jim!  "Automatic" by the Pointer Sisters!  YAY ME!

I am SO knowing every word...singing to myself (and my dogs and my cats) and it hits me.  This song is not at all about what I thought it was back in my junior high days.  Back then, I thought it was about some "it" guy.  Go back with me on this.  He sported the parachute pants, thick shoe laces in checkerboard style, and shell-top Adidas.  He was an avid break dancer.  Throw a box on the floor and watch him go!  Of course he had a Members Only jacket, maybe more than one.  Not that I knew anyone like that, I'm just guessing.  Totally guessing.  Of course that's what the song meant, right?  Wrong.  This song is!

Here are the lyrics:

Look what you're doing to me

I'm utterly at your whim
All of my defenses down


Your camera looks through me
With its X-ray vision
And all systems run aground

CT scans and've got my attention...

All I can manage to push from my lips
Is a stream of absurdities
Every word I intended to speak
Wind up locked in the circuitry

OMG YES!  And sometimes I even stutter!  Others, I try not to say anything at all!

No way to control it
It's totally automatic
Whenever you're around
I'm walking blindfolded
Completely automatic
All of my systems are down
Down down down

Clearly they're referring to ms.  There is no way to control it.  I'm not so much blindfolded as I am looking through black floaters.  But yeah, I'll respectfully differ.  They're the Pointer Sisters!  Who am I!  And sometimes walking is automatic, because I can't feel my legs or feet.  If I guess wrong as to where that foot is or goes?  Down, down, down...

What is this madness
That makes my motor run
And my legs too weak to stand

It's called L'Hermittes Sign and paresthesia!  And thankfully someone is acknowledging the vibrations.  I thought I was the only one with a motor running! 

I go from sadness
To exhilaration
Like a robot at your command

Can I get an amen?  Thank you, Pointer Sisters, for your excellent description of emotional lability.  I'm one of the only people I know who will bust out laughing at VERY inappropriate times.  Very...

My hands perspire and shake like a leaf
Up and down goes my temperature

I'm not sure how much of this is ms and how much is pre-menopause.  Both of which I'm working with.  Again, who am I to question?

I summon doctors to get some relief
But they tell me there is no cure
They tell me  (BA DUM DUM)  Oh come on, I'm not the only one who hears those drums immediately following that line...

I recall summoning many doctors, even those at the Cleveland Clinic.  They all said the same thing.  "You've got ms.  There is no cure."  BA DUM DUM!  Well thankfully none of those fancy docs ever said, "ms has you"!  That woulda been really bad...

Souuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul TRAIN!

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