Sunday, August 22, 2010

A New Symptom? This Is So Not The Time...

I haven't had a "new" symptom in a very long while.  And this is so not the time.  Then again, there really is no convenient time for ms to throw a tantrum. 

For the past few days, I've noticed that a flare may be a brewin'.  Here's the recipe:

  • 1c. electric shocks in the right side.  Head, shoulder, face and thigh...face and thigh! 
  • Add 1/4c. significant tremors in right hand. 
  • Generously sprinkle increased bladder malfunction (it's not disfunction, in my opinion, when it beckons me and then fails to deliver...that's obvious malfunction). 
  • Shake vigorously and pour over "Emotional Bungee Jumping" (EBJ).  That's my own terminology, do you like it? 

EBJ is not like "emotional lability", which is where I'd laugh at a completely inappropriate moment, or cry for no reason at all.  This self-titled phenomenon can best be described as emotions which start up high, then plunge down low...come up high...back down low...little less high...little less low...repeat...'til you're on level ground.  Where am I at present?  I've just jumped.

God has blessed me, however, where my struggles with EBJ are concerned.  The people who surround me are quite amazing in their own, unique ways.  'Cause hey, I'm not Staples and it ain't "easy".  There are times my theme song could be "Hand In My Pocket".  You know, "I'm sad but I'm laughin', I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed, I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby!" (not so much in that order)  My husband and closest friends know this all too well.  I really do try to make deliberate, purposeful attempts at being completely in touch with my inner Staples, but don't always succeed.  And one thing I never want to be is an annoyance or burden.   

As I was processing all of that, a new, invisible symptom dropped in. Hugely unfortunate surprise.  It's one that I'd heard and read about frequently, but was always thankful to have not experienced over the last 11 years.  Darn.

So what's a girl to do?  Well, I'm not completely sure.  I do have a great book to read to redirect my thoughts, courtesy of my friend whom I went away with this weekend.  It's about loving and serving others as God commands.  Guess I can't be doing that if I'm all kinds of bummed out over a new symptom.  Even if it's one I always hoped wouldn't come.  Like totally hoped it wouldn't come.  Totally.  Gag me with a spoon.  Like... 

Oh look!  Here comes my old pal, Insomnia!  Another plus to my fancy new book...I've got a "light" to keep me busy in the darkness.  And to keep my mind off wondering whether or not this new symptom will stick around.  'Cause it's like Joyce Meyer can't sit around thinkin' about your sickness.  You'll just be sick!  I'll hang my pink Phillies hat on that.

"Everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine"...

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