Friday, February 11, 2011

Energy Bank In Overdraft

I remember seeing the term "Energy Bank" in the first ever ms magazine I received.  Though I don't exactly recall the article, seeing as how that was 12yrs ago or so, I do remember how easy they made it all sound.  The theme was...master your energy bank, master your life. 

The majority of ms'ers must be different than I am, because not only does my energy bank fluctuate by the hour of the day, making it about as easy to manage as a nest of yellowjackets...but I've got 3 energy bank "accounts".  A physical account, an emotional account, and a mental account.  And they're all checking, not savings.  You get the point.

My husband and I used to have the "what's more tiring?  Physical work or mental work?" discussion.  I've come to realize that there are times in which all of it is to me.  And it's not just work, as in paycheck earning work.  It's any kind of work.  And by any kind of work, I don't just mean kinesthetics.  I'm talking anything that requires me to move or think.  Act or speak.  Perform or plan.  Anything from working a task through to being everything that people need me to be.   

Because it's "invisible", people cannot understand.  I can't always jump through the hoop with grace.  Sometimes, I just want to kick the hoop.  This week is a "kick the hoop" kind of week.  If only it were so easy. 

What is easy at times is to feel sorry for myself.  I allow myself to think, "why can't I need something for once, instead of always being needed?" or "why do I always have to be the one to do such-and-such?" or "why can't I get some help for once?"  And, if I don't notice the dangerous path of those thoughts, I can get sucked in pretty quickly.  Because once I get sucked in?  I'm way too busy focusing on myself...and that causes me to take my eyes off the Lord.

My energy bank is currently in overdraft, but there is hope.  See, I receive a direct deposit each week called "Saturday".  That's the day I get to have the house to myself with my children to do things like play loud music, cook up some breakfast, talk and laugh, watch the food channel, and attend my son's hockey games with fellow hockey moms/dear friends in the evenings.  I then receive a bonus entitled "Sunday".  Time with my whole family, worship, and enjoying whatever sporting events happen to be on.  That can usually put my 3 accounts into a state of abundance in short order!

Take that, hoop...