Succeeding With MS

For anyone with a facebook account, I highly recommend the page "Succeeding With Multiple Sclerosis".  Its motto?  "Keeping it real, but keeping it positive".  Of course, I was taken with the name.

I really try to maintain a positive attitude on a daily basis, even when I feel awful.  Not because I'm some sort of amazing person.  I'm not.  The only thing that has gotten me this far and will continue to do so is my faith.  Because if you get technical, I'm actually an "MS Failure". 

Only a very select few fail the meds.  Only a very select few can't stomach the handfuls of supplements.  Heck, I even became intolerant to chiropractic adjustments, which would result in a few days of leg weakness and paraesthesia.  Those were all the recommendations that turned into retractions.  I remember sitting in front of my doctor, visit after visit, hearing the word "discontinue", and the ensuing 45-minute drives home in tears.  I felt a little like my number was called for the raffle and the prize was a big helping of 'freakshow'!  So I went rogue.  I cut things out of my diet that I figured out were not agreeing with me, like gluten and alcohol.  I try to eat right (sorta) and make sure to grab a couple handfuls of peanuts each day and solid helpings of dark berries...stuff like that.  But pretty much?  MS taught me how in control I'm...not.  That was actually a beautiful lesson for me to learn. 

Right now, I can say that I'm working full-time and am able to volunteer in different capacities.  I'm more than fully aware how all of that could change at the drop of a hat.  I think of that concept as Reality Road.  If I stay on that too long, I can easily get sucked into Circumstance World, which is a very dark and scary place no one should stay in for any length of time.  Essentially, I can't spend time or energy worrying about whether or not that day will come.  I just need to trust that the Lord will carry me through, no matter what.  I do trust that.  Completely.  Even during short stays in Circumstance World:-)

So in the meantime, I just focus on being the best wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, friend, and servant I can be.  That's what success looks like to me.  Even through the big, black floaters in my left eye;-)