Saturday, January 29, 2011
Grocery Store Sell Out
Yes, that's my cart from last night. Yes, that's the large cart. Yes, I gave in to the peer pressure that the bagger man and well-meaning customer from the other week applied. "You should've gotten a bigger cart" played over and over again in my head, just like the boy on the bicycle in the 80's movie "Better Off Dead"..."two dollars, two dollars". "Bigger cart...bigger cart" Ugh.
Wrestling that beast from stop to stop fatigued me. The fact that I had to scale the shelves in the cat food aisle didn't help matters. Do you think it was purposeful when they stocked the food that my cats eat on the very top shelf? And that there was only one bag left, which was pushed all the way back? Admittedly, I contemplated going to the cleaning supplies aisle, retrieving a mop, and swatting at it like a pinata until it fell. But I realized that method may be frowned upon by others, so I decided to climb. See, I can climb all day long. I just can't descend. Gracefully.
Shortly following my dismount, I became dizzy and wasn't seeing clearly from one end of the aisle to the other. By the time I reached the breads, I was steering poorly and practically laying on the handle, which I was using as a walking aide.
The thought had crossed my mind that, if one was able to be "pulled over" in the grocery store and sobriety tested, it would surely be me. I could envision it unfolding. "Ma'am, I noticed you swerving back there in produce. Have you been drinking?"..."No, sir. I have ms."..."May I see your membership card, please?"...knew I should've bought that.
I guided what felt like an old Chrysler Newport into the checkout and began unloading. Another reminder as to why I prefer the little cart? Stretching for the cans that rolled to the very back of the cart was nothing short of an acrobatic routine. If only I were the same height as I was in high school. At one point, I nearly had both feet off the ground. Who wanted those baked beans, anyway. Oh that's right. I did.
But then, something amazing happened. The cashier not only checked my items, but bagged them! I wondered...does one get more respect when shopping with the Chrysler Newport? And if so, is it worth it to nearly face plant in retrieval of a can of baked beans? Because if I fall in next time, the respect factor goes right out the window.
From this shopping experience forward, I shall return to the comfort, speed, and agility that my little cart affords me. I'm sorry I sold out on this occasion, but have learned a valuable lesson in the process. There's a reason they stopped making the Chrysler Newport.