Sunday, October 10, 2010

Running...Second Attempt

Initial attempt at running?  Bad.  Very bad.  I woke up the next day in misery.  My running friend said, "you know that you have to keep up with this since you started it, right?"  Ugh...

My legs have been hurting so badly that it's been hard to ambulate.  I utilize a series of sound effects each time I stand, step up, or...well...move in general.  My legs are stiff, amazingly sore, and really, really angry.  My shoulders hurt, especially in between my shoulder blades.  My neck feels hot and swollen inside.  Essentially, my body is wondering what in the heck I'm thinking!  I really don't know the best thing to do with such a bodily revolt, because I've never been this sore in all of my athletic days, nor in all of the ms days I've experienced.  This soreness and stiffness far exceeds anything I've ever felt.  I know that my daughter and my running friends say they love that time, because they spend it with God.  Heck, I can pray in the bathroom with less distraction!  But I didn't want to give up so quickly.  I thought about it most of the day.  What to do?  Well, I could drink extra water.  Maybe chew a baby aspirin.  Should I rest until I'm no longer in pain or try to be a tough girl and get back after it?  Then an old phrase came to me out of nowhere...

"Drink from the dog that bit ya"   Hmm.  I recalled that one from working at Mommom's bar in college.  But could it ring true for vigorous exercise?  Eh, figured I'd test the theory.

I laced up my "running" shoes, grabbed my capri sweats from the clean laundry basket, threw on a comfy t-shirt, tied the hair up, and began to jog to the end of the road.

O...M...and G!!!!!!!!!  PAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!!  Stop! Stop! Stop!  Omg...omg...walk...walk it out...where's the guy who keeps stabbing me in the thighs, shins, and calves with the hot poker thing!  Because I seriously want to kick him in the things the squirrels were throwing at me from above.  Acorns.  Oh behave...

Began to jog again, from this telephone pole to that one.  :::thud thud thud:::  OW OW OW!!!  Okay, seriously stop.  Reached for cell phone in pocket of capri sweats.  Began to dial husband to come pick me up about 3/10 of mile from home.  Thought about it,  Squirrels laughing at this point, screeching and communicating in a series of clicks and grunts.  Pretty sure I heard, "10 acorns says she drops before she hits the corner!" and another squirrel said, "I see your 10 acorns and raise you a walnut that she lands in the ditch."  I openly scoffed at their insensitivity, put my phone away, and told myself I got this.  GAME ON, SQUIRRELS!

Jogged again.  Flaming, stabbing sensations at decibel 10 in thighs, shins, calves...tripped but didn't fall...shoulders started to burn...began to stagger like a rabid animal.  Noticed the squirrels staring intently as I wobbled by.

You don't see them in this photo, but they're watching...waiting.  Screeching, acorn throwing squirrels.  Oh yes.  They're out there.

Before I knew it, I was 1.75mi into my 2mi run/walk. I ran intermittently for at least half the distance, because I decided I'd just go until I collapsed. Stupid? Yes. But I've done it before. The collapsing, not the running.  As my dear friend/chiropractor always said, "what could happen?"

The leg pain and stiffness actually lessened...sort of.  They traded places with my left eye.  Bring on the blurries!  So I took a picture of that, too.  What, it looks blurry?  Yeah...I did that on purpose for effect.  Thought it would be authentic!


I was thinking of emailing this to my neurologist and saying, "hey, can you shine your magic light of ocular wonder into this picture and tell me if my optic nerve is inflamed?  It would be much more comfy for me than having it done in person."  I opened up nice and wide, I don't see why it wouldn't work.

So yeah, running experience #2 in the books!  Legs are still burning 6hrs later, neck and shoulders still sore, and eye still a bit blurry.  But I take joy in the fact that I just cost a group of squirrels a portion of their acorns. 

Me - 2  Squirrels - 0.  Until we meet again...

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