There are several things I'm noticing about myself. And these things tell me? I'm getting older. I don't mean the 6 week hair coloring schedule...which should really be 4 weeks, but I can't afford it. I mean real signs.
Last night, I woke up with chills. Again. My Wondertwin Powers have morphed from about 2yrs worth of "monthly migraines"...to 6 months of "monthly wake up feeling like I'm having heart attacks"...to the past 2 months of "monthly wake up freezing to deaths". I've worn my husband's sweatshirt, old sweatpants, and work socks to bed. I keep a large, fleece blanket next to the bed, in case my arctic wear doesn't do the trick. Like monthly clockwork, I woke up around 3am with chills so vibrant that my teeth were chattering. Even the 2 fleece blankets weren't enough. Even the work socks didn't contain it. So I'm left to wonder...how long until I hit the hot flashes?
I've always looked forward to the start of each day. My joy could be attributed to coffee, which sure, I still enjoy quite a bit of! But lately? It's Bayer baby aspirin. Orange chewable. Ever since the one episode of fierce "monthly wake up like I'm having a heart attack" symptoms and resulting hospitalization, I take one a day. But sometimes, I forget if I actually took one or not. So I take another. Or maybe it was the first one. I'm really not certain. What have I become?
Today is a beautiful day. The fall leaves are radiant! The sun is shining! The air smells like fall! I noticed all of that as I was hanging towels out on the line. Like older folks do.
After hanging the towels, I considered going out for a walk and having some prayer time. Instead? I went to sleep. For another 4 hours. With the electric fireplace on high. The house was already at 70 degrees.
I forgot I haven't shaved my legs lately, on account of it's not spring/summer anymore. Yet another thing I like about fall. Not having to shave bi-daily. How was I reminded of this detail? My legs are itching. Yep. Time to shave. My grandmother told me months ago that I'd get to the point where I really wouldn't care about shaving. I'm not there yet, but can see how that might happen.
I took my daughter and her classmates up to a birthday party. It was 45 minutes away. Four 12yr olds and my 11yr old son. My kids sat in the 3rd row of seats. Her classmates were in the passenger's seat and the back 2. And the classmates didn't stop talking. For all 45 minutes. "I want an Ipod!"..."I already have that, I want and Ipad"..."I have a Droid, but I got it wet, so my Dad's getting me the new Droid!"..."yeah but the new Iphone is better..."...all the while, texting. Texting on phones more expensive than mine. "Oooooh you have a tv in your car!". Me, silent. Because what I wanted to tell them was...I haven't used it since 2006 when we drove 15hrs one way to St. Louis. In fact, I'm not sure I recall how to make it work. I'm sorry, but I'm old. I don't believe in having to entertain you every moment your eyes are open. How 'bout you look out the window? That's what I had to do when I was your age. I didn't have a cell phone, because they weren't made yet. And there were no tv's in cars unless someone had stolen one and threw it in the trunk. Or maybe bought one, I guess it didn't always have to be stolen. Heck, our tv didn't even have a remote. I was the remote, as well as the rabbit ear antenna fixer. Dad would say, "right there! Right there!"
Anyway, I looked in the rearview mirror at my kids. Peaceful little smiles, looking out the very back windows at the beautiful fall colors and blue sky. Totally. Quiet. They don't have cell phones, or I-whatevers. Sometimes I wonder if they feel like they're missing out. Other times I don't really care, because it's all just too overwhelming for me. I'm old now, remember?
Lastly? Cats. Four of them. Laying on my computer desk and next to my chair as I type. My husband calls me "Cat Lady". Between the cats following me all about and the nighttime arctic attire? I'll betcha he's feelin' like a real lucky fella!
All the while, ms is saying, "see that? It's not always all my fault..." My apologies, ms:-)