I'm compassionate and nurturing, really I am. My heart is usually always in a place to reach out, to empathize, to support. But I do have an Inner Brat. I dislike my Inner Brat. I got to thinking that, if I reveal it, maybe it would leave me. Either that, or it would overtake me. That's what it did today.
My Inner Brat dislikes when someone complains about the things I deal with on a daily basis. Like how my husband has carpal tunnel and it was acting up. Here's how not to be a loving wife...
Husband: "I really don't know what to do, my wrist is killing me"
Me: "is it hurting that bad?"
Husband: "no, it's just that these 3 fingers (gently rubbing other hand over dead fingers) feel like they're asleep"
Me: "well, try a contrast bath...take some ibuprofen...maybe it'll help."
Inner Brat: "I'm trying to stay quiet here..."
Husband, after coming downstairs from bed 4x: "Oh good, I found Biofreeze. I can't sleep with this, it's really bothering me. Should I put it on my wrist, my elbow, or my neck?"
Inner Brat: "when will people realize you're not a doctor, you're just a biller? Tell him to put it on his butt..."
Me: "if it's hurting that bad, run up to the ER and get something for the pain."
Husband: "it's not the pain, it's just that these pins and needles in my fingers are killing me!"
Inner Brat, flailing arm high: "oh please...PLEASE call on me! Ooooooh! Me me me me!"
Me: "Biofreeze isn't going to bring the feeling back into your fingers, hon."
Husband, giving me his sad eyes: "Well, I mean, I can put it on myself...you don't have to..." yet holding the packet out to me.
Wondertwin Powers...activate! Form of...Inner Brat!!!
Me, visibly annoyed: "okay, that's good. I mean, I'm trying to read here. I deal with that sort of stuff on a daily basis. Ya know?"
Husband: "I'm not complaining or anything, it's just really annoying."
Me: "yeah, I know it is."
That was AWFUL of me. This is a man who drove to Taco Bell at 1am on countless occasions to score me pregnancy grub. The man who stood behind me, held me tightly as we overlooked the lake in Ohio on a trip to the Cleveland Clinic for my 2nd opinion...and he didn't throw me in. I can't be sympathetic to his numb and tingly fingers? I dislike you, Inner Brat. You = bad.
So I'm going to go offer to put Biofreeze on his wrist. Not his butt. Because NO, Inner Brat! I will not let you be the boss of me! And I'll also apologize for acting as if there's only one person allowed in this household with nerve inflammation and paresthesia. Though I wish it was just me. That'd be so much easier. Hey, maybe I could put Biofreeze on my head! What could happen? Hmm...