Sunday, June 27, 2010

Insomnia Is Making Me Stupid

I was sitting up at 4am thinking to myself, "gee, we've been having a string of several humid, 90 degree days in a row here, and I'm feeling absolutely no effects of ms!  That's awesome!"  This is what happens to me when I achieve a cumulative 2-3 hours of sleep per night over the course of a few weeks.  I become...stupid.

I woke up last night at 12am, 2am, and 4am.  I decided it was more aggravating to go back to bed, so I thought I'd get up and begin my day.  At 4am.  Stupid.  Because at 7am, I hit the Giant Wall O' Sleep!  But...had to be at work to begin a special project in an hour.  That means I had to run through the GWOS face first, and the end result is never pretty.  It's sort of like driving your lawn mower as it's running out of gas, when it sputters and stinks up the neighborhood until it finally shuts off.  I sputter.  My patience level drops to -12, and I'm far from shining that light for God that I mentioned in my previous post.  And at some point, I finally shut off.  That one's coming. 

While at work, I did my best to focus on the braille-sized font of the project, and to endure my coworker's constant interruptions...walking over to my desk a minimum of 7x in just 3hrs, just to complain.  About everything and everyone.  She complained about the unsuspecting desk girl and why wasn't she helping us.  And would you look at this one's handwriting.  And was I checking off the charts as I entered them...when I said no, I was going to check them off once they were fully complete, she went on about how she's not doing it that way, I needed do it her way.  And I've learned that the way she does things doesn't make a lot of sense, but she insists it be done her way, or she talks about you.  On and on with her complaints and dronings.  And trashing others. 

Those of us who have experience working in any office have the full understanding that a coworker who complains about people to us...will also complain about us to people.  And I was doing great at sitting there, under the protection of my pink Phillies hat pulled down to the top of my eyebrows, trying to block her out.  But I allowed her to wear me down. 

There's that line in the Bible that says something like, "do all things without arguing or complaining, so that no one can find fault with you". The Bible follows with, "so you will be blameless and pure". But in the 2010 Office Cubicle Translation, it means, "so that you won't get trash talked to the boss on Monday morning". It'll be my turn in the barrel and I deserve it, because I left the "self-control" and "patience" Fruits of the Spirit at home.  I can read all the scriptures I want, but if I leave 'em on the floor next to my bed, what good does it do?  I gave her the ammo she wanted.  Let's push the new person, whom the bosses have openly praised, to her breaking point.  As tired as I am, that point is not very far.  Not even my pulled down Phillies hat can save me now.  Yet part of me?  Doesn't care.  I'm so tired of adults acting this way.  I'm so tired, period.  Has someone seen my patience?  I can't seem to find it anywhere.  Oh yeah, it's at home...I almost forgot.

Insomnia is kinda like paper to the rock of my Fruits.  I think we all know paper covers rock.  I immediately thought of when my very dear friend, Principal in a Christian school, was doing a devotional about shining a light.  She demonstrated the "hide it under a bushel?  NO!" by turning the lights out in the assembly, lighting a candle, and placing a basket over the flame.  Yep, she set the basket on fire.  Why...WHY didn't we all have Principals like that, right?  She rocks, simply stated.  But as we discussed the event later, I told her she unknowingly taught the best lesson ever to those kids.  When your light is covered, really bad things can happen.  And they also learned that they should never, ever...put mother's Longaberger baskets over candles.  That's just funny...

So yeah, I'm just waiting for Insomnia to subside.  I can't accept the advice of the folks on the ms support message boards, who suggest various cocktails of prescription drugs, illegal drugs, and alcohol.  One guy, who says he loves not being able to sleep at night - then walking around like a zombie all day, suggests all 3.  His screen name is "sexmedsnrocknroll".  Betcha I knew that guy!  Guess I'll stick with tired/stupid.  In the meantime, I'll do my best to keep God's Word close to my heart...and my yap shut.  That way, people won't immediately know I'm tired.  And stupid.

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