When Naps Become Comas

My mother has often said that I was born with insomnia.

I did not sleep through the night.  I did not require a nap.  But don't take my word for it, I've actually found a piece of photographic evidence.

 

Exhibit A

 Here I am, relegated to my playpen with a box of toys to entertain myself with.  Not an ounce of tired in that face.  Mom was lucky if I allowed her to sleep more than 3 hrs in a night.  She needed to utilize creativity in order to maintain some level of sanity.  I think the purpose of the photo was to be able to later proclaim, "I survived her early childhood", sort of how folks purchase t-shirts after riding horrific roller coasters.  Between you and I, maybe if I didn't have that freaky monkey-with-cymbals toy, I would've had more restful sleep?  Just sayin'.  Also, the Curious George book was a nice touch.  What was I supposed to do, read it to myself?  Really?  (I'm so going to be in trouble when Mom sees this post...)

Light sleeper, never napped, mind racing at 200mph. 

Who remembers mandatory naptime in kindergarten?  I remember it well and NOT fondly, thank you.  My teacher happened to graduate hs with my mother, and I was well aware that she would have no qualms in picking up the phone to advise of any poor behavior on my part.  Whatever I got at school...would be twice as bad at home.  So I'd lay there, eyes open, staring in annoyance at the others who followed the rules.  Sheep.  I used to think to myself, "if we all refused...if we all got up and ran out to the playground at once...what could she really do?  She can't possibly catch all of us.  Some of us will make it.  I could make it."  Yes, those were the thoughts I had when I was 5.  Come on, no one was catching short, linebacker-esque me in those trak shoes...




Exhibit B


I'm still a light sleeper and my mind still races at 200mph, but I've traded naps in for grade I comas.  How can I be certain?  Well, I simply can't qualify laying down in my bed, pulling the sheets up to my chin, closing my eyes, and regaining consciousness 3-4hrs later as a nap.  The definition of "nap" is "a period of short, light sleep".  Coma = the "prolonged state of deep unconsciousness".  By definition, I nap overnight and slip into a coma come late afternoon. 

It appears as if I'll need to resume that daily 3pm coffee infusion.  Clearly, this is not something a Crisco box full of miscellaneous items will address.  And don't even get me started on that cymbal clashing monkey...




EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!