There are 2 things I completely despise shopping for: bathing suits and undergarments. Because I was pleasantly surprised to have found a bathing suit that essentially covered me from my armpits to my knees, thus covering most of my "problem areas", I thought I may also be equally surprised at how easy it would be to find replacement undergarments. Nope.
All I found were lies. C'mon, "age defying lift"? "Satin fantasy"? And "fits you perfectly floral"? Lies. All lies. Because what I found could best be referred to as "age reminder smush", "satin nightmare", and "boa constrictor fit".
Let me take a moment to apologize to all the men right now. Sorry in advance, guys. This post won't have much for ya...
I tried on over a dozen undergarments, none of which fit...and each requiring more and more Houdini efforts to get into, then out of, then into the next one. I could feel myself tiring and thought, "you have to be kidding me. I just walked 3 miles this morning and I can't try these things on without getting dizzy?" I nearly fell into the wall upon escape from "age reminder smush". It's more than a little embarrassing to have to "catch" yourself in a dressing room by throwing your elbow out to prevent facial impact, thereby creating a loud "THUD" into the thin wall. Add to that visual - the petite sales girl coming to check on you by saying, "is everything alright?" No, sweetie, it's not...but I shan't attempt to explain what it's like to take ms out shopping, exhaust yourself in a fitting room to the point where you can't see straight, can't think straight, and are forced to use your elbow like a kickstand in order to prevent the even-more-embarrassing face plant. So what I said was, "yes, thank you". Again, lies.
Two things became obvious to me: 1) I was going to have to order online, and 2) I can't take ms out shopping for undergarments ever again. It just doesn't behave itself. At all.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to attempt to measure myself and the only tool I have is my husband's metal retractable construction tape measure.
Be well, friends!