Mind: "yesterday wasn't a very good day for you. All that cognitive stuff? Whatever will you do without me?"
me: "I am a child of God. He leadeth me..."
Mind: "and you don't even have a neurologist anymore. (mine retired) No one knows your case like she does. You're SO up the creek."
me: "I don't need a neurologist right now, didn't even go in over a year."
Mind: "you need a neurologist, dummy. You have ms."
me: "casting all my anxieties on the Lord, for He..."
Mind: "you're not going to be able to make that mortgage payment you promised, because you forgot about needing oil. Again. You're not going to catch up. Ever."
me: "God will provide"...I looked over at my sleeping, snoring husband.
Mind: "John is disappointed in you. He works all the time. You can't even keep things straight. Whatever will you do without me? He'll have enough of all this sooner or later."
me: "John's not disappointed in me. I talked it out with him last night and he said he could never feel that way"...still staring at my sleeping, snoring husband. Eyes welling up with tears.
Mind: "no neurologist...bills you can't pay...forgetful...not what you used to be..."
me: "that's it! I'm outta here!"
Up I rose, pulled a sweatshirt over my head, stepped into my sneakers, grabbed my keys, phone, and set out to find the highest points in town from which to watch the sunrise. Wanna come with me on a narrated tour? Okay then! C'mon!
I drove across town to a church parking lot on a hill. Black cloud is gone;-)
This is why I love the sky so much. It's like a daily letter from God that says, "I love you, I got you covered...and I'm waiting for you to really get that."
Like paper to rock, the Lord's sky covers my unruly mind ;-)