They're calling for a major snowstorm and what did I need to do this morning? Yep. Go to the grocery store. Excellent.
I arrived to a parking lot scene that looked a lot like Black Friday mall parking. Are you kidding me? And why is it I haven't gotten a handicap placard yet for "lead leg" days like this? Stupid.
As I crept through the lot, I saw reverse lights! Beautiful! Flicked my signal on and waited patiently. The person was backing out and what's that I saw? Little green Honda lady whipped around the corner, looked straight at me and my blinking signal, and took the space. Oh temper temper. It was alright, because another car backed out just 2 spaces from the front. I took a moment to give a little celebratory cabbage patch dance in the driver's seat as I rejoiced in sweet justice. How ya like me now, little green Honda lady? Sorry, Lord...someday I will mature. Hopefully.
I walked into the store and it was sheer pandemonium. Thankfully, I just needed a few things...things that I felt I had to explain to those standing much too close to me in the applicable aisles. I'd say things like, "I was seriously out of eggs, I'm not just here 'cause of the storm" and "I really just need this bread, because my husband plows and he needs to take a bunch of sandwiches along with him" and further disclaimer-like dialogue. But because everyone was so busy elbowing one another for the last pancake syrup, hip checking one another for the last Entenmann's cake, and pie facing one another for the last gallon of milk...they paid me no mind.
Forget about trying to find a moving line at the registers, so I went to the self checkout. Because my fine motor capabilities aren't quite with me right now, I dropped my shopping card on the floor. Bent down to pick it up, attempted to put it back in my purse, and knocked it off the counter. It was unzipped, so everything fell out. I was kneeling down, trying to pick up all of my coins and cough drops and chapstick and such off the floor...tried to stand up too quickly and nearly face planted when I was tripped up from my old friend, Vertigo. She's a feisty one, that Vertigo! By that point, the line behind me was building...and shifting impatiently from left to right (unless it just looked like that on account of Vertigo and all), and people were giving me an extra helping of "stink eye". Again...invisible symptoms = misunderstanding.
I finally got myself situated, successfully fished my cash through the machine, made it to the car...you know, the one MUCH closer to the store than little green Honda...and eventually entered the solace of my driveway. Right on cue, my front door opened and the most handsome little guy, dressed in pajamas, his Daddy's sneakers on his feet, appeared:-) Just as he has for about 6 years now...he bopped down the front walk, opened my driver's door, extended his hand and said, with a smile, "hi Mommy! I got the bags!"
He's pretty awesome, right? Yeah. I think so too. He'll make a wonderful husband someday, though I don't see the future wife agreeing with his carefully thought out plan of building a room onto his house and moving me in. I'll be cool with her and all...as long as she doesn't take my parking space.