Sunday, January 1, 2012

Nasopharyngitis > My Husband

My husband is a formidable man.  He is strong enough to lift an old home heating oil tank into the bed of a pickup truck, yet gentle enough to carry an ailing bird to safety.  He'll work a 36hr shift if presented with the task, as long as you give him enough coffee.  Basically, there's little he can't do...except when the unthinkable strikes.  What is the unthinkable?

Nasopharyngitis.  Otherwise known as (:::hands to mouth in horror:::)

The common cold.

Make no mistake.  My husband's symptoms are much more severe than typical cases of nasopharyngitis.  In addition to what I refer to as "productive sniffling", which is quite pleasant while one is trying to eat, he experiences terrible spasms in his legs.  These spasms cause his legs to stretch outward, become rigid, and cease movement.  The only thing he's able to do to comfort them is place them on the coffee table.  All medicinal supplies, snacks, hot teas, coffees, and meals must be brought to him.  This is mandatory, as he is rendered completely helpless.  Evidence of the aforementioned helplessness can be noted when he asks, "so exactly how do I take this Zicam meltaway?"  Rest assured, I assist him with tender lovingkindness, responding with, "you put your...mouth?  It will do the rest."

Lastly, he forms an odd growth around his hip area.  This growth is called "Bassetus Houndus".  This phenomenon is pictured below:

It's moments like these that remind me just how fortunate I am to only have ms.

You all should know that this is the sort of relationship my husband and I have.  We deem one another deserving of such mockery and take full advantage of 'harassable moments'.  This is mine.  I accept it willingly and with great joy.

(love you, honey:-)

1 comment:

Tina said...

...John just said:

"You're welcome, honey"