Thursday, July 16, 2015

I'm Already Up Coughing...May As Well Write! (A story about bruises and college and second chances)

To paint the picture...

If you had the misfortune to see me in my entirety, you'd find that I'm more bruises than not.  I've been coughing for about a week, which has done the whole "hey let's inflame everything in her rib cage" deal.  I have some bruising in that area.  In addition, I fell down the stairs earlier this week.  The big ones, not the smaller staircase, because I go big or go home!  Lots of scrapes and bruises to note.  At least my arm is at the purple phase, which we all know means "almost healed".

And sleep?  That's pretty tough.  Between coughing (which brings about the bladder's response) and all over pain from all the bruises, sleep is hard to come by.  You know it's a rough spell when laying still is painful.  

But I don't have time for sleep, you see!  I'm too excited about stuff and being all reflective-like ;)

In just 3 more hours of coughing, my daughter will be checking in to a summer scholars program at a university!  Not just any university, but the one she has her heart set on.  This program is such an exciting opportunity for her, as it speaks directly to her favorite things:  Writing, literature, and God.  She worked hard to get into the program, then worked equally hard to pay for it.  I really can't describe how proud we are of her, as well as how excited we are for her!  The opportunity to attend this program...centered around the things she the school she wants to attend.  Like seriously.  It doesn't get any better.

Wait.  It does, actually.

Speaking of God...

I can't help but feel like this day is a 2nd chance of sorts.  See, back in 1990, my mom took a very anxious me to college.  That awkward struggle of carrying suitcases to the front desk in order to find out where your room is.  The awkward social moment when you walk into that room, bright eyed and bushy tailed, hoping to be met with the friendly face of a person you would be living with for the next year.  Instead, my bright eyed/bushy tailed self was met with a look of annoyance and borderline disgust.  My roommate was a sophomore who made it plain knowledge that she didn't want to room with a freshman.  Meanwhile, there stood my mom, bags in hands, awkward smile on her face.  She showed such kindness to this girl in trying to strike up friendly conversation, offering to rent a refrigerator for us to share.  The roommate rolled her eyes and said she didn't need one.

What wasn't needed?  Was my mom receiving attitude.  But I let that go.

As the weeks went by, the roommate's plan to make my life hell and push me out of the room became more and more apparent.  I tried to reason with her.  Tried to compromise.  Tried to be kind.  Alas, she continued her blatant antics, which escalated tremendously over the course of however long it was until my reasoning turned into...temper temper.  I'll skip the full details, because they're not important, right?  The story ends with me being thrown out of the dorm.

Though I still stand by my actions (one of those "sorry not sorry" moments before that was an actual thing), the part I always wished I could have a redo on was the awkward drop off moment with mom.

Fast forward to present day...

In God's goodness, He brings it all full circle.  This time, I will get to be that mom, dropping her daughter off at college with bursting suitcases (for like, 9 days' worth of classes, but still).  And who will one of the family members standing there with me be?  My mom.  That's pretty neat :)

Scripture says it best:  "See, I am doing a new thing.  Now it springs up.  Do you not see it?  I am making a way..."

Bruises and coughing and lack of sleep can't put a damper on this moment.  The bladder can, but I'm going to try not to think about that.

Oh great.  Now I'm thinking about that.

As I prepare to watch the sun come up over a cup of coffee, I can't help but think back to my college years.  After all, they were some of the most painful times in my life.  Things that go way beyond being expelled from a dorm in my first year.  Now that my kids are looking at schools, I find myself asking God to give them...better.  I don't know exactly what to ask for, just what to ask to "not", if that makes any sense.  I know He has it.  He hears me and translates the mess.

Speaking of messes...c'mon, with me today...we got this ;)

Ah yes.  Time to enjoy this coffee and remember to take the stairs nice and slooooooow...

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