Sunday, June 30, 2013

Awkward Gym Moments

I realized today that I have a lot of awkward moments at the gym.  How did I realize this? By having an awkward moment at the gym. Actually, two of them.

And I fully blame ms.  Why?  Because I can, that's why. All those copays and tests and medical reports give us certain rights...

Today started out innocent enough. I felt as if I could handle the treadmill in lieu of the stationary bike. I've not really been adventurous enough to try the treadmill for all of these months on account of how the marks on the toes of my shoes seem to have gotten a bit darker. And come on, it's one thing to trip and scuff your shoes whilst out on a walk around the neighborhood. It's a whole 'nuther to trip on a treadmill (aka 'rotating conveyor belt of moderate to severe injury'), fall, and be flung against the wall. I haven't felt particularly 'trippie' in the last few days, so I gave it a try.

I boarded the treadmill, pushed my ear buds into my ears, clipped my iThingie to my shirt, turned it on, turned it UP, started bopping my head a bit (thank you, Calvin crazy DJ, you) and started to walk...

Within .10 of a second, I realized that the belt does not move until you actually TURN ON the treadmill.  I tripped and caught myself against the handles that measure your heart rate.  Unfortunately, the guy next to me totally saw it happen.

(This would've been the perfect time to use the "I'm not drunk, I have ms" mantra.)

My finale du jour occurred on the arm machine. I had pushed myself beyond exhaustion and gotten to that level of exercise where I really could not have cared less what I looked like. I slouched in my seat, wiped my face over and over, and felt as if I just kicked my workout right in the face! But I wasn't done. I thought I had one more set left in me! As I rested, I was enjoying my music a little too much and noticed an approaching man with a look of bewilderment on his face. I realized I was dancing in my seat.

(Again, not

Thankfully, the gym's slogan is "the judgment free zone". Because I've done things like...

  • excitedly wave at someone I thought I knew...but didn't
  • realize I needed to use the bathroom...5 minutes ago
  • walk straight into a very large man...face plant into his chest
  • place my bottle of water back into the cupholder of my bike...and miss
  • try to wipe my face with my towel...and poke myself in the eye 

If someone throws a stare my way, I shall point to the wall as a reminder:

So don't judge me, fellow exercisers. Because the wall SAYS so. With an "e".

Meh, I figure at least I'm trying? Yes. At least I'm trying :-)


Muffie said...

I'm not judging, but I am laughing! Been there, done that, and I'm sorry to see you having to go through it!

Tina said...

I knew I could count on you, Muff!!! LOL! :-)))