Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Semi-Annual Check Ups

I have one of these scheduled for next week. A trip to my friendly neighborhood neurologist!

It was originally scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving, but I rescheduled. You see, I was all in the spirit of my favorite holiday of the entire year...Thanksgiving! A time to celebrate all that I am thankful for! Since ms isn't one of those things, I just wasn't feelin' it. My rain check is dated 1/12/10.

But all I did was prolong the inevitable. The appointment is still going to happen. I used to have to go quarterly, but talked my way out of that in lieu of 2x/yr, which is now pushing 2x/18mos. We're still going to assess my "progress". Progress, in this case, is not a good thing. The goal is to walk out of something like this hearing, "no change". I feel a lot like NFL coach Jim Mora in the infamous post-game interview when he said, "Playoffs?!?! Don't talk about playoffs! Playoffs? Playoffs?" It works for me. "Progress?!?!?!" Yeah, "progress" my...well, you can fill in the blank.

First, I'll get to share what life's been like since my last visit. Here's the bad thing, or maybe it's the good thing? I never know exactly how to answer that question, because I try not to pay attention to it. Next, I'll get to track an object side to side, up and down, and to my nose. Then, I'll get to close my eyes, reach my hands out, and attempt to touch my nose with a random finger of her choosing. Oddly, she never chooses my angry finger. Maybe I'll ask about that sometime. I'll get to read those really fun numbers in the color blindness book of wonder! I'll get to show off my strength! Throw in a dash of tuning fork for good measure, which is held to my knee caps and ankle bones..."tell me when it stops vibrating". Is it normal to feel that in my teeth? And then she'll reach for a pin...

There's a glass dish filled with safety pins the size of something you'd use on Baby Huey, and I'm going to be poked with 'em in random places. She knows how I despise this part. Once, I asked if I could at least choose my own pin. Like when my mom had to choose her own branch off the tree to be beaten with. To make the game more sadistic, I'm supposed to close my eyes or look away as it's jammed into my skin. "Sharp or dull?"!!!" Am I bleeding yet? Did I get the square? All you ex-Hollywood Squares fans will identify with that one. Next, the back of my hand..."whew, dull". Other hand..."YEOW". What really stinks is when I get all or most of them wrong. That happens almost every time. Yeah, pretty much every time.

It's a long ride home with plenty of time to think, actually too much time. And so when I flunk my many tests and get a little down on myself, I begin to hear the pep talk that dear friend/chiropractor gave me nearly 7 years ago. It randomly replays out of nowhere when I need it most. She told me it wouldn't change the type of mother I am to my kids. She said all sorts of other really great things, but that's the one I hang onto with both hands on that hour long drive home.

She's right, you know. It doesn't change the type of mother I am to my kids. Sure, I might slow them down with my 8 stops by the ladies' room! BUT! I love them with my entire being. I still tend to their needs, still help with their schoolwork, and do my best to see that they have and receive everything they need. While ms changes lots of things, it hasn't changed what's most important to me...the type of mother I am to my kids. Thanks, dear friend/chiropractor...your words are still golden:-)

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