I knew the day was coming where both halves of my heart would actually go through with this growing up thing and go off to college and/or get a job and/or not be here. At home. With me.
See, I was always the mom who cried when I let go of their hand and turned to walk away at preschool, and when they got on the bus each school year, and then into the driver's seat of the car...especially the driver's seat of the car...and always felt deep sadness when all those holiday and summer breaks were over. Just so you understand who's writing this and such.
I'm about two full months into this stage of midlife and I've reached "typing 'surviving the empty nest' into an internet search" level of wellness, which is better than "not really hungry enough for dinner" level. I've read the list of suggestions from various experts. They're cute and all, but not really much I can get with. I'm not into drinking wine and let's be real, I'd probably end up throwing the pottery they suggest as a crafting option. So what have I been doing? Well...
I'm blessed in that I'm working a FT job, so there's a solid 10.5hrs each day in which I have something work related to do - be that commuting or contributing as a member of Cubicle Nation. I try to sit through my husband's favorite tv shows. Okay no, I go into my phone on account of not really caring about someone's 2 million dollar home budget and finding them the right island home when my downstairs floor is still torn up from repairs that were made a year ago. Anyway. I adopted a new dog. I volunteer some time. I go to the gym. Okay wait, so that's only when the dog isn't laying on me, which is infrequently. I white knuckle through maintaining a balance (boundary) between wanting to reach out to friends, or invite myself to their children's sporting events 'cause your girl likes her sports, or invite myself to pretty much any and everything they may be doing and just - not. "Notting". Let's pretend that's a word, because it fits better. But, what I mostly do is think about my kids with heart-filled love, hope and pride. Praying over them, hoping they are enjoying school, even the part where they have to study and demonstrate their knowledge. That they're growing in their faith and growing in their friendships and growing in their personhood and growing in their "knowth" (a friend says that and I.love.it.) and just - growing. Lots of growing.
They've given their best to this household and I rejoice in their opportunities! They deserve every good thing. Every knowth. Every growth. I will forever be their biggest cheering section.
(if anyone was thinking I'd have actual suggestions for empty nesting, I honestly don't...just lots of white knuckling, really...lots of coffee...and the dog)
