Drawing Strength

The answer to the question, "how are you?" can be bullet pointed as follows: 

• Alternating blurred vision in both eyes, though thankfully, not blurred at the same time.  Thus the "alternating". 
• Nerve pain in lower right jaw, similar to a toothache...in all 3 back teeth.
• Nerve pain across left side of back of head, neck, and face.
• Legs weighing in at 500 imaginary pounds.  Each. 
• Tremor in left hand.  No biggie.

I ran through daily morning physical inventory, realized what the day would look like, and thumped myself back into bed.  After using the bathroom, of course...and banging into the door on the way back.  Make that "thing #6 on physical inventory list".  Inability to judge self in space.  Nice. 

I was supposed to be up at at 'em this morning, because I was to help prepare and cook a large meal for a local Christian camp.  It wasn't just any meal, this was their Booster Dinner.  And I was invited to work in the kitchen, despite playing a large part in creating The Meatloaf of 2009, aka the most horrific meat ever prepared and served to others, last summer.  It was so tragic that I exhausted myself just by mixing it.  A picture's worth 1,000 words...

So anyway.  There I was, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, tears in blurry eyes.  And goodness gracious would you look at the size of that eye spot!!!  Oh wait...just a stink bug in my periphery.  Whew.  My body said, "you just stay right here in this bed.  If you try to get me up, I'm going to hurt worse than I do right now.  I'm already exhausted from one bathroom trip.  No way you're going to be able to help prep and cook for 180 people.  Pull the covers up and call it a day."

It then occurred to me that today was the MS City To Shore biking event.  As I was laying there, I thought of the thousands of people who were sacrificing their weekends to ride.  I thought of friends from high school who have teams.  My name is on their websites.  I considered how I may be one of the folks they think of on mile 85, when they're exhausted and wanting to quit...yet they keep going.  I thought of my friends who also have ms.  A guidance counselor, 2 EMTs, a nurse, an administrative assistant.  They don't let people down just because they're having a rough ms day.  The answer became quite simple.  Get...up.  Right now.  Yes, it will hurt. Yes, the scenery will be blurry.  Do it anyway. 

So I slid out of bed, literally.  I put on a pot of coffee and checked my emails.  In the array was a photograph of a woman who had written my name on her leg for the City To Shore.  I've never met her.  A friend of mine, also a friend of hers, shared my story...and she thought of me.  Wow.  Just wow.  

     

I sat here wondering...how did I get so blessed?  People all over the world, ones I know and ones I don't, are thinking of and praying for me.  Just as I think of and pray for them, whether I know them personally or not.  God has a way of making the world very tiny, right?  I'm glad He did it that way, but most glad He made it temporary.  It's a pleasant reminder on "bad ms days", or "migraine days", or "chest pain days", or "negative bank account days", or "I'm sorry we're out of vanilla bean flavoring for your coolatta days".  You get the idea. 

Thank you, guys.  Seriously.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, because they help to give me strength.  Without that, I wouldn't have been able to fulfill an obligation...and in the process, create a new signature dish.  Extreme Salt Green Beans of 2010!  They weren't Meatloaf of 2009, but really, that should never repeat itself.  Think of the children...